
“We're going to the car wash,” said my friend Thomas. Not my idea of a good time, actually. Bob and I were visiting for the weekend; we had no choice, since Thomas was driving.
We set off along the romantic, meandering Moselle river valley between Koblenz and Trier, with Thomas giving “the Americans” a running commentary. The Moselle is 545 kilometers long, with steep vineyard slopes known throughout the world for fine Riesling wines. Thomas showed us idyllic winegrowing villages, vineyards with familiar names, taverns, pilgrim sites and cultural history at every turn.
“I will show you Europe's steepest vineyard” Thomas said. It turned out to be the Calmont near Bremm, 380 meters high with a 55-degree gradient.
I was unprepared for the imposing view. The cliff, about two kilometers in length, is laced with narrow paths that wind in serpentines across the mountain. Stairways that climb over the rocks and walls of the terraces. There is no single “vineyard” per se, but rather sections of earth. It may seem hard to believe that it is possible to cultivate such steep, craggy slopes. No machine can be brought up by the wine growers. Fertilizer is transported on their backs in the spring and grapes carried down in the fall. Their work is laborious and dangerous.
Thomas told us that he reads frequently in his local newspaper about tourists who die on the slopes of the Calmont – mostly of heart failure or pure exhaustion while attempting to climb the mountain.
As I sat in the back of the car – on the way to the car wash or so I thought - I couldn’t help myself thinking that even in the worst of weathers - nasty, cold, windy and rainy - this region is so very attractive and romantic. See rainy photo the day we were there and sunny photo of the German Tourist Office website for a contrast. 
After driving off-road through the mud from the hinterland to the peak of the Calmont, Thomas's BMW desperately needed a car wash. Did I end up going to one? Nope! Thomas couldn’t find it or so he said….!
Up to this part of the story I truly thought this was the end of my blog entry…. until Bob read it and said to me “You are not staying true to the facts.” “But I am staying true to the facts. What do you mean?” Bob insists that Thomas (naughty Thomas!?!) yanked my chain with the pretext of a trip to the car wash. Is this true Thomas? True or false: A) Car Wash or B) Calmont or C) Very diplomatic - both answers are correct.
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